Food Nazis

I ate breakfast this morning at Alaska Coffee Roasters and was thoroughly enjoying a fantastic walnut-carmel bun with my fresh roasted brewed coffee when a man and woman took a seat at the table directly behind mine. The man had a shallow bowl of some kind of glop while the woman of Asian persuasion a plate with a delectable pastry on it. They no sooner sat down and the man started lecturing the woman about the dangers of consuming gluten and perplexing about why she continued to eat such terrible stuff despite his many sermons about its dangers and its anit-nutrient effects on her body. This "conversation" went on for nearly an hour, while the woman nodded politely and gently chewed her tasty but very dangerous pastry. The man of middle age seemed reasonably educated and certainly did not present himself as some wacko despite his apparent boobery at carrying on a friendly conversation. ( I did pick up in his ramblings that he was an athletic runner sort so that does cast some doubt on his sanity, but that subject will be a different post)

What I really want to know is, "WHEN DID PEOPLE QUIT EATING WHAT TASTES GOOD and instead turned the joy of eating into a pseudo-science of worry?" I mean, people post listings about their recent meals on Facebook and point out how it is fat-free, salt free, artificial xxx free. The only thing they don't mention it being free from is FLAVOR.  Every week they post about some whiz bang diet they are trying that is going to let them be marathon uber athletes and Nobel Prize winners at ages extending well past a century. Christ, garnishing your bake potato with a dob of sour cream and salt is looked upon with more disdain than adulterous relationships these days. If you make the mistake of questioning the reasoning behind most of these diets and food type restrictions you will be treated to an hour long lecture on a mish-mash of evolutionary, chemical and biological principles that will bore you more than any high school health class. Usually these lectures conclude with a statement about how such-and-such food should not be eaten by humans because the human gut can not digest and absorb it properly. PEOPLE, that is why we invented toilets, what we can't digest and absorb is sent to that porcelain satan to feed the hell fire. It can't make us fat or stop our heart if we don't digest and absorb it.

Besides the questionable science associated with all this concern over food, I question the the under lying principle. Today people are living longer than ever in history. (unless you take myths and legends too seriously) More living humans inhabit this planet now than all the dead humans that ever lived. Do we really want to live longer and longer? Besides, are we really living at all if we spend all our time worrying about what might be bad for us rather than enjoying what we have now? We are all going to die anyway so why not enjoy the time we have to its fullest?

Well thats enough for this rant for now because I need to go make dinner. A couple of T-bone steaks cut from antibiotic tainted, grain fed steers garnished with non-organic potatoes smothered in sour creme, butter and salt. Maybe I'll make some sweet corn since you're supposed to have a vegetable. Hmmm, maybe a giant hot-fudge sundae with extra fat ice-creme, hot-fudge, real whipped-creme and topped with some salted nuts for desert. Damn, I'm getting hungry....Wanna come for dinner?