You Might be an Alaskan Sourdough if:

1. You have driven a highway that requires you to prove that you have enough cash in your wallet before you are allowed to enter.
2. You know that a snow machine is something to ride on and not something only used at ski resorts.
3. You don't think the friend you are chatting with is being uncharacteristically rude when he suddenly slaps you. Instead you thank him for killing that damn mosquito.
4. You contemplate weather you should put on Muskol or Ben's 100 as perfume for your wedding.
5. You wouldn't even consider drinking a bottled water advertised as being collected from a glacial stream.
6. Your grade schooler comes home telling you that they had a special class today teaching him/her how to build a snow cave.
7. Your child worries more about encountering a moose on his/her way to the bus stop than about running into a nasty stranger.
8. You put your beer in a cooler in order to keep it from freezing.
9. You expect your new car to come equipped with Arctic Leash.
10. You think that the song "breaking up is hard to do" is about the changing seasons rather than personal relationships.
11. You don't think anything unusual about your wife yelling "pull over, I need to piss" when driving down the highway rather than saying "pull over at the next rest stop please".
12. As a matter of habit you keep a roll of toilet paper inside your truck.
13. You have ever gone to a laundry mat in order to take a shower.
14. You don't find it unusual that your office coworker's business attire is covered with dog hair.
15. You know that a gang-line is not some street gang initiation practice.
16. You know that a wheel-dog is not a pet that insists on chasing the tires of passing cars.
17. When riding with a friend in an unfamiliar part of town and he/she is about to miss the turn you yell "gee" or "haw"
18. You know that kings,reds,dogs,silvers and humpys can all run in rivers.
19. You attend a city council meeting and notice that a a large percentage of your fellow attendees are wearing sidearms.
20. Being a seasonal construction worker is a more respectable occupation than being a university professor.
21. You have ever microwaved the ice-creme that was inadvertently left in the truck so that it will be soft enough to chisel out with the scooper.
22. You have 28 dogs in your yard and your neighbors don't complain.
23. You know that bunny boots are neither worn nor made out of rabbits.
24. Your bedroom windows are covered with tin foil.
25. Your high school football game is patrolled by guards armed with riffles keeping watch for approaching polar bears.
26. You would never put anything that came out of the honey bucket on your pancakes.
27. You've needed to take a break from surfing the web so that you could go empty the honey bucket.
28. You have ever used a "bathroom" equipped with a ski pole to chip away the frozen mountain beneath the seat.
29. You know better than to tell your kids to be home before dark.
30. You've refused to buy an outdoor thermometer because its temperature bottoms out at -30.
31. You use moose antlers for a hood ornament on your Prius.
32. You've made a kitchen light switch out of duck tape and it worked so well that you put off going to the hardware store to get a real one for months. (and your wife didn't complain)
33. Local stores get into price wars over the sale of blue tarps.
34. Business projects take moose season into scheduled timelines.
35.

User Manual for Living

I recently heard someone talking about the old adage that "Life does not come with a user manual. Disagreeing with this statement, the person went on to state "Life does come with a user manual and its called The Bible. So if you have questions just R.T.F.M.

Hmmm...so the original was a hodgepodge of notes left by the genius but socially inept Design Engineer after building the first model. These were collected and extensively edited by the Tech. Support staff to answer the operational questions they were facing in their day to day jobs. Of course, a council of representatives from the Marketing Departments from all the companies trying to sell the device then had to publish the manual in a form that would actually sell their product. By the time all this was completed many new versions of the product had been released but hey, it was still the same basic gizzmo. Then a mere 2000 years ago the Design Engineer returned from vacation, read the manual, called the editors and publishers fools and demanded a major addendum be added. The editors and publishers obliged but then killed the engineer so he couldn't cause more problems for them.

So here we are some 2000 years later with multiple versions of the manual, not being read by most, being understood my none, but being quoted by everyone with an axe to grind. Some believe that the engineer is no longer dead and will one day come back to explain it all again. Until that happens I guess we are stuck with just pressing the reboot button from time to time.